Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Boy, That's A Tight Fit

I dunno who Fitztight is, but I'm guessing he's a monger trying to warn his compatriots that using your Aunt Mary's station wagon or a rental Dodge doesn't make you as anonymous as you think you are when you prowl around for diseased, downtrodden, addicted women to blow your old wrinkly dingus.

In any event, our long time friend Benchseats Rock seems to have lost the plot. To answer his question, Baltimore's a great city to live in and would be a lot better if idiots like him would quit feeding the problem. As though a guy who openly admits in a public forum that his sex life involves debasing and taking advantage of opiate addicts is in a position to pass judgment on anyone's living arrangements. Must be lonely in his corner of the trailer park these days...

Dear friend: even if you manage to score a sore-laden, toothless heroin addict for that $20 blowjob, you still have to live with the fact that you need to do that sort of thing to get any action. Is that really winning? Heh.

Even though the hooker action has been kinda slow, I'm thinking a fun activity might be picking up a few of the local ladies in a van, picking a lucky winner from the pool of frequent looping mongers, and dropping them off at said monger's doorstep for him and the missus to play house with.


  1. Let's take a trip out to visit how the Haves live. You know the guys who live in those affluent areas like Gwynn Oak, Curtis Bay, and Dundalk.

    Yeah, we're finding out where you live now. We'll be by soon.

    Have the caviar and champagne waiting for us.

  2. You'll know it's me when I get to the driveway. A Banks diesel 4" exhaust on a tuned Powerstroke making ~600ft/lbs of torque has a lovely way of saying "hey honey, the guys from Pigtown brought us some toothless diseasebag hookers".